Two Conversations

Conversation I

Jesus loves you!

God loved me first!

What do you mean?

I can see – that means I have retinas and corneas. I can breath – that means that I have lungs, a diaphragm and bronchial tubes. I could digest food – that means that I have a stomach and intestines. All of these are God’s gifts to me – I’ll bet you that Jesus couldn’t spell half of those words – and he certainly didn’t have a clue as to how these various body parts function – how can you expect me to worship him?

Conversation II

You need Jesus!

No I don’t, I’ve got a cold beer, I’m good.

But didn’t you ever sin?

I sure did, I’ve done plenty of stuff that was downright wrong, but there is one thing I’ve never done.

What’s that?

I never claimed to be God, I never claimed to be sinless, and I certainly didn’t tell anyone that they’ll go to hell for refusing to believe that I am sinless.

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Yisroel C. Blumenthal