A Brief History of Charlie and the Charolites
“All these things spake he unto the multitude in parables; and without a parable spake he not unto them: That it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the prophet, saying, I will open my mouth in parables; I will utter things which have been kept secret from the foundation of the world.”
Charlie H. Smith was a traveling Christian preacher. He began his public ministry in the summer of 2012, about July or August. It did not take long for Charlie to gather a loyal following. His followers were few in number and even smaller in the aggregate of their intellectual and spiritual credentials, but their loyalty to Charlie was absolute.
Charlie’s preached a mixed message. On the one hand he spoke of love, peace, tolerance and self-negation. On the other hand, Charlie railed against the respected figures of Christendom. He called them all types of names and rained upon their heads all manners of curses. Until today, it is not clear which part of his message was more appealing to his followers. Some historians argue that his simplistic teachings on love and peace spoke to the hearts of those who found themselves so hurt by the injustices of society. Other historians contend that it was his message of hate towards the established figures of Christian society that attracted those who felt intimidated by the high society of Christendom to begin with.
Towards the end of his rather brief ministry, Charlie began dropping hints as to what he believed was his role in the cosmic plan of Christian eschatology. By the winter of 2015, Charlie’s followers were convinced that their leader was no less than a second incarnation of Jesus. Charlie’s devoted followers firmly believed that they were witnessing and participating in the second coming of the Christian Savior.
When Charlie was killed in a car accident in April of 2015, his followers were shell-shocked. But their shock did not last more than a few days. Due to the confusion that arose at the time of Charlie’s hasty burial, some of Charlie’s followers became convinced that a certain empty mausoleum was the place were Charlie had been laid to rest. The fact that the mausoleum was subsequently found empty convinced these followers that Charlie had risen from the dead. This report was followed by the rumor that some of his followers had actually seen Charlie since he had died.
Those followers of Charlie who believed in Charlie’s resurrection expected Charlie to return and take his rightful place as the incarnation of Jesus. These believers maintained their own Churches for some time after Charlie’s death or disappearance. Although they attempted to recruit followers from amongst the Christians, their efforts did not meet with much success. The fact that the establishment Churches spent time and effort criticizing Charlie’s followers energized Charlie’s devoted believers, but made it difficult for them to grow their Church.
In 2033, all of this changed. That was the year of Harry S Percy’s conversion to the Charolite faith (as Charlie’s followers came to be called). Harry was a man of vision and energy. Harry quickly developed his own understanding of Charlie’s cosmic role and of his own mission to the world. According to Harry, Charlie was the fourth person in the Christian god-head. He was one and the same with Jesus, but he was a different person in the god-head. Charlie’s death had been an atonement for the sins of the world. According to Harry, the death of Jesus could only have been a foreshadowing of Charlie’s supreme sacrifice. Harry and his theologians (and it did not take long for Harry to raise schools of theologians), argued that since Jesus had never sinned, his death could not rightfully atone for sin. As someone who never sinned, Jesus could never be able to atone for sin. Harry argued that it was only Charlie, as a man who was intimately familiar with the concept of sin, who could provide atonement with his death. It was Harry who attributed to Charlie the statement; “No one comes to Jesus but through me”. And it was Harry, of-course, who invented the concept of a “third coming”.
Harry also believed that he was appointed by Charlie (who appeared to Harry several times) to minister to non-Christians. Harry’s message was strongly opposed by the original following of Charlie, and it was certainly challenged by the establishment Churches of Christendom, but Harry did not care. Harry traveled to the far-east and to Africa where he made millions of converts to the Charolite faith. It did not take long for the converts of Harry to outnumber and overpower the original Charolite Church.
Once these followers of Harry gained the reigns of power in the Charolite movement they set about to eradicate every last vestige of opposition to the doctrines of Harry. The followers of Harry did not stop at killing the original followers of Charlie and burning their Churches. They tried to eradicate every last bit of documentation that could serve as a refutation to the doctrines of Harry. The followers of Harry rewrote and edited the Newer Testament touted by the original Charolites. They did not stop there but they appended Harry’s epistles to the Newer Testament, making Harry’s teachings equal with those of Charlie.
It is fortunate that Harry’s followers were not entirely successful. The authors of this article have come into possession of some historical documentation that has escaped the clutches of the Charolite inquisitors. With time we hope to make these documents available to the public.
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Yisroel C. Blumenthal