RT, thats exactly how I felt in college studyimg both Judaism and Christianity.
Its profoundly sad, because When Christianity started, it started as a small Jewish sect, (with messianic ideas probably not disimmilar from those in Chabad, except centered around the Crucifixion) but when gentiles picked up the belief system, anything Jewish that had existed started to lose a foothold, and not only that, the Jewish Christians were persecuted out of existence.
Gentile Christisns had Sunday, Easter, (and much.much later Christmas.) They altered times and laws.
I always had to struggle between the clear words of Jesus (which seemed pro Torah on their face) and the replacement theology of the Church.
As a Christian, I never believed Jews were lost. How could the very people who taught Jesus’ ethic to the world, (the Torah ethic) be lost?
I remember feeling sick to my stomach after seeing Schindler’s list in 8th grade (for a school assignment.)
Was I supposed to believe that Nazi pigs with “Got Mit Unz” on their belts were “saved,” because they were Baptized? I never believed that.
I am proud of my family members who fought tooth and nail to send those Nazi pigs (may their bones be ground to dust) to their end.
Was I supposed to believe that the wonderful Dr. Who gave me the ability to walk was going to hell, just because he was Jewish?
No. Screw that.
I remember crying after Schindler’s list and my Jewish friends comforting me, and I thought “how screwed is this that they are comforting me?”
Why should a Jew have to comfort a Christian when its Christian books that contain the gas in them?
Christianity preaches a deity of love who died for you, but its a deity of love who exists without any sense of justice or measure for measure.
So, its not a deity of love, but one of possession. Not a relationship of mutual goodness, but of fear and dependence.
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Yisroel C. Blumenthal